It never occurred to me that the address of my blog might be misleading...so, to anyone logging on to my sight, looking for the best places to fish in Gunnison...I apologize. While it is true, there are MANY great places to fish here, this must have come as a shock. The title speaks more to my identity than the subject matter, duh, but originally the blog was going to be more op-ed oriented. Sorry about that. Eventually the info you seek will be written about here, just not for awhile. Thanks to Dave (my son) for pointing that out. Nothing like having an editor in the family.
Well, as they say, "the rubber has met the road". Yesterday was a marathon day, completing all of my preop activities in one fell swoop. Sheila and I left home at 6:00 o'clock in the morning, drove 2 1/2 hrs. to Grand Junction, performed all the PATs (pre admittance tasks), blood draws, chest x-rays, physical therapy meeting, two trips to nuclear medicine, and a bone scan, ate dinner, and returned home alittle after 9 pm. "Tired I am", as Yoda would say. My doctor's staff, and the folks at St. Mary's Hospital in GJ were absolutely wonderful. The coordination was very impressive and only further confirms the choice of surgeon and venue for my surgery. Some very skilled people got me registered into the "system", withdrew blood, injected radioactive dye, instructed me in the ways of pre and post operative physical therapy, and took xray images of my chest and skeletal structure. In two weeks they will wheel me into the operating room, tilt me upside down, don the the "gloves" of a robotic surgical marvel called the "Da Vinci" and excise any and all diseased parts of my anatomy they find... "what a world, what a world". On one level, this is a piece of today's technology I would just as soon not have to experience. On the other hand, I love this sort of innovation and am kind of, in a weird way, excited to see and "experience" it. I know..I know, I should have just finished the pre-med/med program and got my kicks out of this sort of thing from the "other side" of the equation. Oh well...
So things are in motion...I have taxied to the runway and am finishing my pre-flight. My checklist now is... work all I can, prepare for re-hab,and "make still my heart" as they say. My faith is my rock, for as Rachel ( my daughter) reminded me "For GOD has given us a spirit, not of fear, but of power and LOVE and self-control". To anyone who does not understand these feelings, I'm not sure I have the words to do it justice, and this probably isn't the place to delve into it, but to KNOW you are loved beyond any measure, comforted without end, and supported without waiver is a blessing beyond blessing. It is manifested in my family and friends, and residual within my heart, and I cannot imagine going through this process without it.
To all who are facing a similar situation, please know that there are so many around you that love you, pray for you, and are willing to help. Please KNOW this as well...GOD and His Love are not predicated on our belief in Him. He loves us inspite of our actions. Finding this peace in our lives is essential all the time...but especially now. I don't know what this operation will cost me, I don't know what the insurance will actually cover and not cover (interesting...and it's called insurance?), and I don't have any idea how I will pay for any of it. At this point in time I don't even know what to do for my living. I feel my thirty-five year run as a builder/carpenter as come to an end. My heart is not there anymore. My last project proved to be a pinnacle, for me, and I can't improve on the client or project. I have lots of energy and enthusiasm, but for what? Note... if anyone has any ideas or opportunities...I am available. Sorry, I wobbled off track for a second. None of these things will matter if you don't survive, obviously, so I suggest all your efforts, thoughts, and energies go into this part of the approach. Do all you can, have peace with your efforts, and focus your very being into getting well. The results take care of themselves from there. This world is full of alot of good doctors, caregivers, and...friendly "do-gooders". Believe they are there to help you...for they will. Believe you are loved...for you are. Believe all things are possible...thru Him. Namaste
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